Thoughts/ramblings in the dark before morning...

It's seven a.m.  

The house is completely still, except for me.

I don't know WHY I am up right now. My fingers are even having a little bit of a hard time finding the keys on the key board...

but I'm not complaining.

I'm happy. 

Happy that even though I went to bed mere hours ago, only to awaken once again to a tired and congested child, I have such a wonderful life. 

So what did I decide to do instead of climb back into bed at 5a.m.?

I made cinnamon rolls. Yum.

Have I ever told you that I love to cook? Not that I'm a master chef or anything, but there is something about taking all of these raw ingredients, that when put together make this whole new symphony of tastes. (Ratatouille anyone?) Cooking rarely requires perfection. It's forgiving and if you mess up-it's not like you have to keep it around-you eat it up anyways or throw it out. Something about creating in the kitchen makes my brain start to relax and I come up with ideas as I think.
Today I was thinking about that song Brave again. A friend of mine mentioned, "could this be a gay anthem?" and I responded, sure, but I don't think that MAKES it the gay anthem-but if it is for some-awesome. This may be a little controversial for some of my readers-but with a human understanding that is no where near what God understands, this was my response. 

I think that songs are what you make them to be. If you look at the words and think about testimony I think it has a totally different meaning. And if the gays do want to use it as an anthem-that's fine. :) 

And just for a little POV, my views on gays is this. Some people really are "gay" whatever that might mean. Maybe there are people who are genetically predisposed, maybe some people are just riding the wave and trying something new... BUT either way the problem lies in acting out. Just like with people in a straight relationship-some things are just not allowed until a certain point. And for them a life of of abstaining from these tendencies might be hard-some might say unlivable. It's a thing we talk about a lot since one of my best friends is gay. He is a wonderful person. I feel happy when I'm with him and I know he is a Child of God, and right now i feel I want and need to be his friend. I love him regardless of the choices he makes. He has been very open about things to help me/us understand more. Does being his friend mean I need to accept his life style? no. But it does require a understanding heart of who he truly is. It's like trying to understand depression if you've never been depressed. It's hard to wrap your mind around.

Anyways-just thought I'd share that with you. 

And about songs in general, here is a little story for ya. Growing up- there was a song "What if God was one of us?"  and I thought, "oh look! A song about God that is popular! This is great!" But my dad told me that because God is all knowing and powerful and could never be "a slob like one of us, trying to make his way home" this song was wrong and bad. And my dad demonized that song for me. Every time I heard it I quickly changed the station. I'm not saying he is wrong, but when I went back and actually listened to it-that's not what I heard. What I heard was a person trying to find testimony, trying to understand who God really is. Someone lost, Someone trying to find religion and hope and understanding...but falling short. It wasn't bad-but a part of a personal journey to finding truth. It's not one I listen to regularly, but anyways. Like I said, a song is what you make it. Obviously there are double meanings for many things and there are some things/songs out there that are just bad and wrong. but more often than not, when we look for the good in the world, we find it.

Let things build testimony rather than break it.

For me, growing up, songs on the radio were a great way for my parents to teach how the world can twist things and throw a fun beat in and then throw in some crazy sex lyrics and you don't even know they are there (well most of us anyways) until we've listened 1000+ times and it's saturated in our brains. Whenever I find a song I like I also look up the lyrics and read as I listen-and try to find the message I see in it. If it's bad it gets thrown out regardless of the beat. 

In sunbeams one time we were talking about music and this one girl stands up and starts singing some Katy perry song-I think it was California girls...and even though we were trying not to laugh and then just move on-I couldn't help but wonder when she will understand what she's singing and if it's going to shape her as she gets older? Idk. 

And on the topic of Katy perry-did you ever see her documentary? It's nuts! It was interesting to learn about the girl behind all those catchy songs-some a little edgy for my taste and others I love. Anywho-I watched it alone-no kids or husband, but it was some interesting insights. I don't know if I can say my respect grew for her work, but it helped me to see her as a child of god, and respect her as that. :)

I hope it's ok with you that I'm quite open like this. I could be wrong and if you have differing opinions I'd love to hear them.

 AND After pondering this email and other things this morning while cooking, I kind of boiled things down into one thought that I really wanted to share with you, dear reader, and that is this:

The only thing that is the same about everyone in the world, is that we are absolutely different, and we are all Children of a loving Heavenly Father.

Our differences make us who we are. Just like kneading bread, the pulling and kneading of the bread is a vital part of the process. However, if you kneed it too much it may become hard and not rise. But if you under kneed it, the gluten network never forms and you may have a very airy and possibly flat bread. We all need (pun not intended) to be pushed and pulled, but at the same time safe guarded and given time to rise and grow.

Well. thus ends my thoughts for now. My sweet baby in the other room is cooing for his breakfast. :)

But one more thing...A big shout out of love to my "sous chef" Adam...who patiently cleans up many of my messes after cooking. love you.