To those still hurting

In the past week I found out two of my old friends, had miscarriages around Christmas. As I heard/read of their experiences my heart began to weep. They are both very sweet wonderful daughters of God, and excellent mothers. Their faith and hope to continue humbles me.
When working up on L&D if a patient was far enough along when a miscarriage occurred they would still deliver there surrounded by normal deliveries. I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to walk into an area where you hear babies crying knowing that you wont hear your baby cry, well not here anyway.
During my first trimester I started spotting and was so worried that I was going to miscarry. Blood had never bothered me before until that moment. My doctor, who is the ultimate by the way, immediately sent me to have an ultrasound just to be safe. I think I was only 8 weeks. It was a particularly busy day and I just sat there and cried for the almost 2 hours we had to wait. It was agony not knowing what was going on inside there. I kept saying little prayers that our little baby would be ok. Each breathe hurt. I got worried about even moving too much. Maybe that sounds irrational, but I couldn't help it. Finally, I kind of got to a place where I felt, if the worst happened I could handle it somehow. I didn't know how I would, but only that the spirit whispered to me that I could get through this or anything else as long as I had faith. As soon as I got that confirmation, along with a comforting look from both Adam and my mom (who sat their with me) I knew we would all be ok, no matter what happened. It was just ok. Not that I would be happy or sad, just ok. And we would make it through one day to the next until things were ready to be more than ok. We would be ok, we would be ok...
As we all know, everything was alright, and we never knew exactly what that blood came from, and it even came back a couple more times throughout the rest of my pregnancy, and a little tinge of fear would creep into my chest. I can't even begin to pretend I know or understand what these women go through, but I know when I would just say a prayer a feeling of peace that everything was going to be ok one way or the other would come.
I feel so very blessed to have had a healthy pregnancy and delivery with a happy baby girl now, but my heart aches for those that lose those tiny ones they will have to wait until this life is over to hug and love.
No one knows when those sweet spirits enter their earthly bodies. Maybe it's as they draw their first breathe, or maybe the moment those those two haploid cells converge. Either way, it is a trial women (and men) face as they bring the rising generation into the world. It is a heavy yolk to bare I'm sure and I'm grateful I have not had to bare it. But to my dear sweet friends that have had to, I will do my best to bare that yolk with, I hope for a brighter tomorrow. I love you.
Another good friend had to deliver her sweet baby early due to health complications last year and as I read about her story it made my testimony grow leaps and bounds. (click here to read it.) Please know it is a very hard story to read, and if you don't feel up to it, it's ok. I just thought I would share it with you. Maybe it will bring hope, maybe it will bring gratitude, maybe it will bring heartache, maybe it will bring sympathy, but whatever it is, it is an amazing story and I'm grateful for these friends and their courage and faith. Thank you for giving hope and healing through your testimony even in a time of great trials. I love you too.